It was almost sad to read that a Yorkshire
village used for filming recently could only employ a handful of locals as
extras because the tattoos and body piercings weren’t appropriate to the era of
the film.
Last week, while I was in another room, my children were
both enjoying a bit of colouring time.
Things apparently aren’t always what they appear; my 4 year old came and
stood proudly in front of me with what can only be described as fantasy stage
make-up, comprising polka dots on his
eyelids and around his brows, through the centre of his face and covering his
tummy, ‘Look Mummy’ it’s beautiful!’ I
had to agree - a truly magical moment!
The potential significance of his internal conversation
didn’t hit me until a few days later however, when he started colouring his
legs in the car on the way home from school.
When we arrived home, he had to stop.
He was so upset because he had only completed one leg, it took a little
bit of persuading to find out why, then I heard the words I shall always
remember, ‘but Mummy I’m not beautiful if it’s not finished’.
I gently explained to him that he was gorgeous and a
beautiful person, the colouring was pretty but it didn’t make him beautiful –
he already was.
I often wonder at the proliferation of tattoos in our
society – is it because our self esteem has become so low that we think we need
to ‘make ourselves beautiful’ I wonder?
‘Mummy, I don’t want your skin to go wrinkly – I like it the
way it is!’ Oh boy, now that did test my
response! ‘They’re smile lines’ I
replied and proceeded to show him how, when smiling, they show up more! Like
most people in their 40s I’m seeing the early effects of ageing and while I’m not at the point of surgery or
Botox myself, I have an understanding of why some people choose that route
- but it doesn’t solve the problem.
Dismantling these disempowering conversations is akin to
dismantling what it is to be human, however they don’t need to be as loud as
they are. When the reflections looking
back at us from the mirror or photos of ourselves reflect and honour us as
accurately as possible we are able to hear the more empowering conversations
about ourselves that have previously been pushed to the background. This article
recently shared on our Face book page highlights a perfect example.
It is however, all in the perspective and
it reminded me of a friend commenting on my ‘crow’s feet’ – up until that point
I’d only known them as ‘laughter lines’!
